4th of July

Awesome, awesome 4th of July. Okay, maybe not totally and completely awesome, but still pretty awesome.

I spent about seven hours hanging around on the waterfront right near MIT. At first it was me, Will, Christine, and and Ariel; then Ariel left and we were very sad to see her go. Then it was me, Will, and Christine for many, many hours, and let me tell you, there are not many in the people in the world that I can have that much fun with for that long. J squared (Julia and Joe) joined us about half an hour before the fireworks.

Okay, what exactly did we spend all that time doing? Well...not much, really. Mostly we chomped on homemade fried chicken (thank you, Will) pretty colored marshmallows (thank you, Ariel) and yummy fluffy chocolate cake (thank you--oh wait, that was me). We all lay down on each other, which was really comfy: Will and Christine are both EXCELLENT pillows, especially Christine, because she is abnormally adorable and squeaks a lot and gets all jumpy when she laughs which is fun when you are lying with your head on her tummy. We also discussed Will being weirdly similar to Christine's boyfriend and generally awesome person, Dan (who couldn't be there, damn his eyes) and sang musicals and had oodles of fun. When Julia and Joe finally showed, there was even more lying on each other and laughing and hitting people; Joe has had way too many concussions and I KEPT HITTING HIM ON THE HEAD BECAUSE I FORGOT, and luckily he was a good sport and did not snap my hand off at the wrist, as some people might have done around the fourth or fifth time.

The fireworks were gorgeous; we ooooohed and aaaaahed, and Julia pointed out how bad it was the environment, and we shushed her. And Will and I kept boosting Christine up, because she is vertically challenged, shall we say, and we might have been boosting her against her will, but we meant well, so it doesn't matter. I also spent most of the time hugging Will, who is an excellent tool for keeping warm. He's also FUZZY.

After the fireworks, we hung out at the river for a while longer and then traipsed up the river to Trader Joe's, where J squared and Christine met their ride. Will walked me home, gentleman that he is, and now here I am.

The awesome of tonght was lessened because I ditched anther group of friends in a thoroughly scummy way--not like I was purposefully trying to ditch them and was mean about it, but like I kept promising I would show and then didn't and basically acted like a douchebag of utter douchey-ness. It seems some other people caught the Jerk Flu, so at least I wasn't the only one. On the other hand, that means the non-jerk people suffered even more...ah, whatever. It was bad, I will try to make up for it, end of story.

Something happened today that made me think a bit. The music from the Shell, or from somewhere, whatever, was echoing over to us, and at one point they started playing the national anthem. Loads of people around us were standing up and putting their hands over their hearts, singing along with the music. Christine and I sat up; that was it. And I realized: I am not ready to stand up and salute to the national anthem just yet.

I know how this sounds. "Spoiled liberal American girl is whining about her country that gives her more benefits than any other nation on earth! What right could she possibly have to act all high and mighty about the country where she has rights and luxuries many kids her age will never dream about, let alone actually have?" But the thing is--you know what, I can't believe I am doing this, but I will. I am going to use Ally McBeal as an example.

In this show, one female character is ranting about all her problems to her female friend. Her issues are, in fact, rather petty. While her friend doesn't say a word, she finishes her speech and says, "Thanks, I feel a lot better." Her friend then asks, "Ally, what exactly makes your problems so much bigger than anyone else's?" With a completely straight face, Ally replies, "They're mine."

A kid in Uganda has problems I could never imagine. I have luxuries that kid could never imagine. But that doesn't mean bad things can't happen to me, and I'm not allowed to be unhappy or angry about those things. It also doesn't mean that kid in Uganda can't be really happy about good things. We all have our lives to live; and while we shouldn't be allowed to forget and ignore people who have real, terrible stuff to deal with (war, starvation, AIDS, and sexual abuse, just to name a casual few) which is actually a big danger of the apathy in the American public, we can't let our attention to other people's problems stop us from paying attention to ourselves. I want to be happy and sad about my own life; and I also want to do things to help people who are in much worse situations than I am. I can do both. I will do both.

This country is taking stpes forward, but we are leagues away from being something that, morally, I can be proud of. These rights and luxuries we take for granted come from a ton of corrupt sources, and truthfully, I think ending that suffering and corruption is more important than some of the benefits we get for living in the US. Like, for instance, cable T.V. And laptops. And central air-conditioning. Honestly, we can do without those things. We may not want to, but hey, even without them we are WAY better off than the rest of the world.

I'm sort of wallowing in my own hypocrisy, I know. The thing is, I don't think I'm the kind of person who will be able to make a big change. I don't have that kind of fire inside me. But I want to do what I can without letting my guilt and feelings of obligation push me into something that I'm not the right person for. Hey, maybe I am actually the right person. But I'm not even legally allowed to drive yet. I think I need some time to figure out what role I'll have in making the world a better place.

Wow, off on a crazy tangent. My point (and I do have): I'm not ready to salute the anthem or the flag. So sue me. Hypocrite I may be, but I'm a hypocrite with opinions. Plus, I live in Massachusetts, where you don't get dirty looks for ignoring the Pledge of Allegiance.

I have more to say, but I'm too tired. I'm gonna go to bed now. Also, a shout out to Sierra, who's in England now! I love you, babe, have a great time! I'll write, I promise!